For Carers: Looking After Yourself While Caring For Someone With Cancer
· Gena Health Team
Our For Carers series is for the family members and friends who do so much, often invisibly. We'll share plain-language, evidence-based tips to help you look after yourself, because looking after yourself is not selfish, it is what allows you to keep caring.
Why caring for loved ones with cancer can feel overwhelming
We often hear that people caring for a loved one with cancer sometimes feel invisible. The demands of treatment and the emotional roller-coaster leave little room for anything else. Caring for someone with cancer often means unpaid, full-time work.
Research shows that informal carers provide an average of 28–42 hours per week of care; during intensive treatment phases this can rise to more than 40 hours. Many carers reduce their working hours or stop working altogether, leading to financial strain. A 2024 survey of UK carers found:
Nearly half reported a negative impact on household finances and their paid work
Up to 77% have less than an hour of respite per day
Nearly 63% said caregiving negatively affected their mental health
Feelings of loneliness, guilt and exhaustion are common. When you are spending so much time looking after someone else, it is easy to neglect your own needs. But caring without caring for yourself is a recipe for burnout. Below are simple, practical steps to help you look after yourself while still being there for your loved one.
Recognise that you are part of the care team
Caregivers often become de‑facto care coordinators - scheduling appointments, transporting loved ones to clinics, managing medicines, helping with daily activities and offering emotional support. As an essential part of the care team, your wellbeing is also critical. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel: fear, anger, guilt, sadness. Talk openly with someone you trust about these feelings or seek counselling is proven to help cope.
Ask for and accept help
It can be tempting to do everything yourself, especially when care for loved ones with cancer feels like a job only you know how to do. Take an honest look at what you can and cannot do and to let go of tasks that others can help with. Examples include:
Household chores such as cooking, cleaning or shopping
Childcare or school runs
Driving your loved one to appointments or picking up prescriptions
Updating friends and relatives on your loved one’s progress
Accepting help benefits both you and the person you care for. Carers who share tasks stay healthier and their loved ones feel less guilty about the caregiver’s workload. Websites such as SignUpGenius or Lotsa Helping Hands can help coordinate volunteers.
Be prepared that some people will not be able to help due to their own circumstances. Try not to take it personally. Focus your energy on those who can assist and be honest about your needs. When someone offers specific help (e.g. “I can take the kids on Saturday”), say yes.
Make time for yourself
Finding even a few minutes each day just for you can make a huge difference. The NCI suggests:
Schedule 15–30 minutes daily for relaxation: nap, walk, stretch, read, garden or watch a favourite show
Keep up a routine: maintain at least some of your regular activities — meeting a friend for coffee, attending a class or pursuing a hobby. Studies show that keeping a routine reduces stress
Take longer breaks by asking someone else to help with appointments or errands
Remember that taking a break is not abandoning your loved one; it is renewing your own strength so you can continue caring.
Look after your body and mind
Carers often ignore their own health appointments, skip meals and sleep poorly. It is common for caregivers to put their own needs aside to focus on the person with cancer. Try to:
Eat well and stay hydrated. Pack snacks and water for long hospital days. Ask friends to drop off prepared meals.
Exercise when you can. Even short walks or gentle stretches can improve mood and energy levels. Yoga or tai chi videos at home can help.
Sleep matters. Fatigue makes coping harder. Aim for regular rest and naps when possible. If sleep is elusive, speak with a doctor.
Keep up with your own medical care. Don't forget to schedule your own GP visits and routine screenings.
Mental health deserves equal attention. High levels of anxiety and depression have been reported among carers of rare cancers. Mindfulness exercises, journaling, prayer or meditation can provide calm. If feelings of despair persist, contact a healthcare professional or helpline.
Explore resources to support finances and work-life balance
Financial pressure is one of the most cited sources of stress for carers. Travel to specialist centres, unpaid leave and reduced working hours can quickly drain savings. Explore available benefits and entitlements early. In the UK, carers may be eligible for a Carer’s Allowance, disability benefits, travel grants or flexi‑time arrangements. Speak to a social worker, welfare rights adviser or charity such as Carers UK for guidance.
If you are employed, talk to your employer about flexible working or caregiving leave. Maintaining a connection to work can provide social interaction and financial stability. Some carers find remote working or part‑time schedules help balance responsibilities.
Final thoughts
Caring for someone with a rare or hard‑to‑treat cancer is one of the most challenging roles there is. The work is often invisible, the responsibilities can feel endless, and the emotional toll is heavy. By acknowledging your own needs and taking steps to care for yourself, even in small ways, you strengthen your ability to care for someone you love. Self‑care is not a luxury; it is an essential part of caregiving.
Gena's Resources
Gena’s Compass is a free and secure AI-powered tool to match patients to treatments and clinical trials based on their treatment and medical history. We’re currently in our pilot phase and serving Glioblastoma patients, but we’re expanding quickly. If you or someone you know is living with GBM, see how Compass can help you navigate your cancer care.